at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
