eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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