Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
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