her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
