So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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