You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
