If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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