the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize
