Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
