That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
