Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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