I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
