I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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