Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
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had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
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And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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