I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
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