you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize