what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I'm experimenting with sincerity
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
