hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
