if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
