i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
