whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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