I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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