I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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