Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
