Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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