he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
