UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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