by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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