We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
