I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
