There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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