with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
it's great music for shaving your balls
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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