Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
