i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
