Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
