i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize