Texts From Last Night

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  (619): View more from California

  you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top

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  (619): you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top http://tfl.nu/edw1
  Replies (18) Good night (955) Bad night (2951)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.

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  (618): In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it. http://tfl.nu/dx0b
  Replies (4) Good night (3191) Bad night (905)
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets

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  (571): the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets http://tfl.nu/d1l9
  Replies (29) Good night (608) Bad night (5147)
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  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.

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  (580): Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them. http://tfl.nu/fkfv
  Replies (7) Good night (1239) Bad night (3326)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.

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  (301): they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with. http://tfl.nu/84m6
  Replies (23) Good night (6439) Bad night (1770)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv

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  (440): I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv http://tfl.nu/sgj1
  Replies (11) Good night (1201) Bad night (2202)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.

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  (703): No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off. http://tfl.nu/2s4x
  Replies (10) Good night (6713) Bad night (915)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??

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  (717): at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea?? http://tfl.nu/j9re
  Replies (9) Good night (2236) Bad night (1072)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs

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  (307): i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs http://tfl.nu/99qm
  Replies (9) Good night (3337) Bad night (859)
• Favorite

  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.

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  (580): And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities. http://tfl.nu/eu72
  Replies (10) Good night (2833) Bad night (756)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it

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  (404): im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it http://tfl.nu/4p1k
  Replies (4) Good night (2120) Bad night (515)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.

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  (913): Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life. http://tfl.nu/36jh
  Replies (8) Good night (1881) Bad night (651)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die

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  (509): If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die http://tfl.nu/9v9m
  Replies (1) Good night (574) Bad night (298)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!

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  (801): I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner! http://tfl.nu/dody
  Replies (4) Good night (691) Bad night (327)
• Favorite

  (251): View more from Alabama

  So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?

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  (251): So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"? http://tfl.nu/3mzm
  Replies (5) Good night (418) Bad night (233)

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