Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less

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  (586): Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less http://tfl.nu/ah1z
  Replies (2) Good night (960) Bad night (1514)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?

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  (781): did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt? http://tfl.nu/bzrm
  Replies (26) Good night (4385) Bad night (818)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  dont start drinking without me

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  (215): is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor? (609): dont start drinking without me http://tfl.nu/ofdx
  Replies (47) Good night (5105) Bad night (1029)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities

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  (812): i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities http://tfl.nu/t8hr
  Replies (7) Good night (5608) Bad night (1102)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.

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  (214): Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend. http://tfl.nu/ael4
  Replies (4) Good night (1986) Bad night (711)
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  (107): View more from

  That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.

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  (107): That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog. http://tfl.nu/02iq
  Replies (8) Good night (1360) Bad night (1070)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.

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  (610): I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands. (908): Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful. http://tfl.nu/kbfw
  Replies (6) Good night (1199) Bad night (990)
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  (716): View more from New York

  The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes

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  (716): The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes http://tfl.nu/9ioy
  Replies (2) Good night (1227) Bad night (445)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.

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  (678): Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS. http://tfl.nu/1c5m
  Replies (3) Good night (966) Bad night (610)
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  can anyone on this campus do anything sober?

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  (574): can anyone on this campus do anything sober? http://tfl.nu/gpdm
  Replies (3) Good night (925) Bad night (812)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.

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  (412): I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause. http://tfl.nu/76t1
  Replies (3) Good night (1450) Bad night (569)
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  (818): View more from California

  I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u

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  (818): I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u http://tfl.nu/ckyh
  Replies (4) Good night (825) Bad night (389)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?

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  (708): Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love? http://tfl.nu/bkra
  Replies (7) Good night (690) Bad night (396)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Umm

  (240): View more from Maryland

  Exactly.

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  (240): Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor... (301): Umm (240): Exactly. http://tfl.nu/dkql
  Replies (1) Good night (380) Bad night (572)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.

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  (512): Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart. http://tfl.nu/cqbu
  Replies (4) Good night (579) Bad night (336)

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