i just wanna soil my oats bro
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
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I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
A+ Viking dick