Texts From Last Night

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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.

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  (918): The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God. http://tfl.nu/l6po
  Replies (20) Good night (7947) Bad night (813)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.

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  (402): Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES. http://tfl.nu/mubn
  Replies (11) Good night (1608) Bad night (552)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.

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  (413): I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh. http://tfl.nu/mtmx
  Replies (12) Good night (848) Bad night (2083)
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way

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  (251): About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way http://tfl.nu/3xnz
  Replies (9) Good night (3335) Bad night (627)
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  (905): View more from Toronto

  9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.

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  (905): 9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey. http://tfl.nu/esjs
  Replies (17) Good night (731) Bad night (5133)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc

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  (630): Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc http://tfl.nu/6dlb
  Replies (50) Good night (585) Bad night (2909)
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  (661): View more from California

  this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.

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  (661): this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date. http://tfl.nu/1wwe
  Replies (51) Good night (7278) Bad night (1695)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.

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  (206): After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team. http://tfl.nu/bf8i
  Replies (12) Good night (4099) Bad night (997)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase

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  (770): We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase http://tfl.nu/nkt0
  Replies (0) Good night (695) Bad night (2569)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.

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  (636): Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time. http://tfl.nu/mfto
  Replies (6) Good night (2351) Bad night (1299)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.

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  (305): Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns. http://tfl.nu/2g8z
  Replies (4) Good night (1441) Bad night (666)
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  (936): View more from Texas

  im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done

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  (936): im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done http://tfl.nu/rjb2
  Replies (2) Good night (801) Bad night (538)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much

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  (647): im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much http://tfl.nu/vzm3
  Replies (6) Good night (251) Bad night (649)
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  (650): View more from California

  Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.

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  (650): Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what. http://tfl.nu/elzg
  Replies (4) Good night (928) Bad night (263)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...

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  (712): I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive... http://tfl.nu/8mj3
  Replies (3) Good night (232) Bad night (343)

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