I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.