Texts From Last Night

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  (310): View more from California

  my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.

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  (310): my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet. http://tfl.nu/p26k
  Replies (36) Good night (1244) Bad night (4424)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat

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  (561): if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat http://tfl.nu/bqtg
  Replies (40) Good night (5638) Bad night (1232)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend

  (1-210): View more from Texas

  I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.

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  (210): drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend (1-210): I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning. http://tfl.nu/558s
  Replies (26) Good night (2214) Bad night (5302)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.

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  (414): I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome. http://tfl.nu/m7qx
  Replies (4) Good night (3173) Bad night (984)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  So....maintenance found the bullethole.....

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  (512): So....maintenance found the bullethole..... http://tfl.nu/54el
  Replies (22) Good night (5441) Bad night (2415)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.

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  (208): This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week. http://tfl.nu/trjj
  Replies (4) Good night (1691) Bad night (541)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  There were penises being pulled out everywhere.

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  (216): There were penises being pulled out everywhere. http://tfl.nu/fw5r
  Replies (17) Good night (2087) Bad night (837)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer

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  (678): I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer http://tfl.nu/ffy6
  Replies (4) Good night (762) Bad night (1128)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.

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  (907): i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet. http://tfl.nu/l2j7
  Replies (5) Good night (1665) Bad night (568)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Can we agree to not tell mom about this?

  (303): View more from Colorado

  This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.

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  (720): Can we agree to not tell mom about this? (303): This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you. http://tfl.nu/ipdw
  Replies (1) Good night (1685) Bad night (576)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.

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  (+44): He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever. http://tfl.nu/51gj
  Replies (4) Good night (348) Bad night (698)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  This is why you are not allowed out in public.

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  (732): seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian. (908): This is why you are not allowed out in public. http://tfl.nu/xlma
  Replies (1) Good night (591) Bad night (351)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces

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  (+61): I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces http://tfl.nu/enrv
  Replies (1) Good night (609) Bad night (279)
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  (226): View more from Ontario

  Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day

  (1-226): View more from Ontario

  Who do you have class with??

  (226): View more from Ontario

  The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo

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  (226): Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day (1-226): Who do you have class with?? (226): The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo http://tfl.nu/9wq8
  Replies (0) Good night (556) Bad night (264)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!

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  (404): Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?! http://tfl.nu/p40q
  Replies (0) Good night (582) Bad night (418)

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