I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
20 People Confess What It’s Really Like To Live Under Sharia Law
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.