But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
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