I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Terrible idea I love it
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I'm really busy with my period
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