member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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