doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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