After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
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