Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
