why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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