So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
