The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
