I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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