New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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