is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize