She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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