He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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