he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize