You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
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