Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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