problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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